<![CDATA[DUNGEONS & DAD JOKES

<![CDATA[DUNGEONS & DAD JOKES - Town Crier]]>Thu, 24 Apr 2025 13:31:55 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[beginning of order]]>Tue, 15 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/beginning-of-orderLeaving the Orgorek, the group traveled to Charmonde to discover Strolduk had left a few days prior. After talking with Jim, the head guard, they learn he is looking for the skull of Borgan the Barbaric in Legrash. Before dinner, Evangeline ducks out and visits the Amber Pope’s office and finds a journal which contained Kilmoc’s thoughts as well as every pope before him. The first pope, Gregory Calaval. As dinner concludes, Fix receives a rather harsh burn from his tattoo and reaches out to his family again. However this time, he only receives static from Gidna and Vanneth. Learning from Philethis that a sizable earthquake happened, he asks the group about heading to Qi.

On their way out to go to Qi, a woman comes to the estate. She introduces herself as Zavakri and shares that whatever hit Thriest also hit Qi. Leoros is on his way to Rachar to see what he could do about that orrery while the others have stayed at the Iron Saint. He thanks her for the message and pays the woman. The group decide time is of the essence and they should continue on their quest to the Amber Monolith.

They travel there and see a fortress built beneath the monolith. Evangeline informs them that the guards here are paid for and maintained by the Order of Truth. Deciding to circumvent the fortress, they enter the monolith from a tunnel. Inside, they find a portal and the bones of a human with only the crown still present. Evangeline draws the crown in her book and the full picture of the first Amber Pope fills out, showing her Gregory Calaval. As she programs and starts some nanite to encase the bones, Fix works on the orrery.

Evangeline sends TC through the portal to discover the other end is in the fortress below. TC found itself in a room with guards looking quizzically at the tiny construct unsure what to do. She called it back before they took action and let the group know that they may want to get out of here soon.

They decide to teleport to the City of Bridges and rest there for the evening. The next morning, they travel to the Scarred Monoliths and see first hand just how large the guardians are that float about the monolith. Upon their approach, the guardians awaken and attack. After destroying the stone creatures, Kadath informs the party that the magic is still strong and believes they may reform. With this knowledge, the group make their way into the tunnel of the monolith.

Episode 103 part 1

Episode 103 part 2

]]><![CDATA[dragon bones]]>Tue, 08 Apr 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/dragon-bonesThe group teleports to White Lake and finds the city well on its way to picking up all the pieces from the switch of government. Fix discovers that J’hara left a few days prior on the back of a black drake with another woman. He learns from Harven that she was headed to Legrash in the Black Riage Mountains. They stay the night at the castle and head out in the morning toward the Orgorek.

That evening, Fix touches base with Philethis to learn Vanneth had come back to Qi. He also uses the tattoo to reach out to his family and learns of their location and general emotions. He is a little surprised that he also senses the rest of his group. He then finishes the rod he had been working on for some time.

When the group arrives at the Orgorek, they notice a field of stones that resemble a graveyard. Upon entering the area, Evangeline notices the runes etched on several of the stones are used in binding and corruption magics. An ethereal ancient dragon appears and when the group presses forward it attacks. Fix attempts to dispel the corruption and manages to weaken it significantly. Evangeline and Kadath begin to bust the stones, Forsythe joining them when the dragon begins to break free of the spells. As the dragon disappears, it bows, “Thank you. What is mine, is yours.”

With the dragon gone, they finish destroying the stones as Fix and Kadath fly up to the Orgorek. Finding a hatch, Fix begins to open it when the roots of the tree begin to flail. They do manage to get into the inside and notice the roots stop attacking. Inside they discover the bones of an ancient dragon, a hoard of treasure, and the orrery. Evangeline and Fix get the orrery running while the others fend off crystalline snakes.

When it becomes calm, Fix uses the rod on this orrery for the first time and learns that he can open up portals to other orreries that are working. Putting it away, they go through the treasure and find a couple magic items and a lot of gold. When they leave the Orgorek, they find sprouts peaking through the ground and learn that the barren fields are growing once more.

After conferring with a map, they decided to head to Charmonde on their way to the Amber Monolith.

Episode 102

]]><![CDATA[machines]]>Tue, 25 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/machinesDeciding to enter through the spire, Forsythe took a moment to commune. He discovered the spire and the writhing roots were the main plant in the area, however they were willing to let the group pass with the promise of bringing them bodies to lay their spores in. He also learned of another plane bleeding into their realm nearby.

Once inside the spire, they realized the vines completely engulfed the monolith. Forsythe, in his air elemental form, flew about the vines and rock to locate a cave entrance. Through various means, the group made it to the cave and entered. The tunnels led out into an abandoned city square where a very ornate building was located. Inside the building, they found an office with several books that included: heraldry of the Varis families and metallurgy. Kadath found a scroll for casting a private sanctum within the desk as well.

The main floor also included a meeting room and the orrery. Evangeline and Fix brung the orrery back to life and entered the date into the maintenance log. Kadath sensed a strengthening of magic from below the orrery and let the party know. However, they decided to check the upper level first.

Upstairs was a well furnished living quarters for someone of great prominence. They later discovered this was for Shedine, the mother of dragons. Through some recollection of studies, they remembered that Shedine was the mother of the Great Dragon from Yosh-lin. After thoroughly searching the area, they headed down to the lower level, where the magic still emanated. This was a single room with a teleportation circle etched into the stone floor and a single upright portal that pulled at them slightly.

On the other side of the portal was the ring that haloed the spire. The group quickly realized they were being pulled away from the portal and decided to explore why. They found a creature whose chest was its own portal with a gravitational pull. The closer they got, the harder it was for resistance. As Buckly was nearly pulled through, the creature was dispatched. With her knowledge of nanite technology, Evangeline quickly disassembled the creature and informed her group that with enough of these, they could have pulled in an entire city.

Episode 101

]]><![CDATA[The Spire]]>Tue, 04 Mar 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/the-spireBefore leaving Astaria, the group gathers as much information about the fields as possible. Forsythe learns of the poisons and how to make an antidote. As they travel across the fields, they learn how the ground shifts and changes. They also run across a few of the creatures that travel the land. In the evenings, Evangeline works on her nanites as Fix continues to forge the tool through Gond’s guidance.

Eventually, they make it to the spire. With vines growing over the monolith and a ring hovering around it, they take caution to approach. Forsythe flies about the ring to discover a possible entry while Evangeline spots an opening near the ground. They are now faced with the challenge of getting into either location.

Episode 100

]]><![CDATA[the ring]]>Tue, 25 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/the-ringThe group does some studying in the University Library. Since the librarians see the high priestess robes of Evangeline, they pull books from all sections for their search. Each of them find information that they are looking for:

Evangeline finds information about the Shattering, learning that the cities were targeted and the shields were up and working before Shaji disappeared. One last hit created the “scar” in the southern Steadfast.
Forsythe learns about the Amorphous Fields. The land moves and shifts from liquid to solid; the settlements are only found on land that seemingly does not change. He also learns about the Pygmy Hapax and the poisonous clouds that cover the land.
Kadath reads books on teleportation and finds two new circles: Astaria and Asada Emidu. However, Asada Emidu does have a strange marking next to it that he is unsure what it means. He also learns the location runes are more closely connected to the land than the specific city.
Fix studies the contracts they found at Idris and finds many references to Gond. Reading through them carefully, he realizes they are instructions for building a tool. He begins to draw up plans for this tool.

That evening, as the rest run their own errands, Evangeline visits Kilmoc’s office. She finds more information about Vilkaris. This is an ethereal realm where ghosts, banshees, and other similar creatures dwell. The ruling beings are the spirits. Though the realm is free, when rulings must take place, typically the spirits will banish the culprit to another realm. Evangeline also checks her book about the ancestors' names and discovers five names in relation: Curros, Hanakri, Devinkri, Valad, and Suzalad. She learns Curros was a leader in Idris and the 2nd Designer of the orreries, and Valad was a great warrior who fell in the Battle of Far Brohn. She then finds an amulet hidden among the books. She identifies it as a Life Stone.

After a night’s rest, Kadath teleports the group to Astaria and finds themselves in the lower level of the main dock house. Through some exploration, they discover this houses the dockmaster’s office, a tavern for the crews, and some resting quarters for the captains of the ships in port. In the office, they found general ledgers, but hidden in a secret drawer was another logbook. This one contained names going back 80 years with the most recent entry only 5 days earlier. Evangeline noticed the correlation of the dates next to names as dates that The Feather was in port. Kadath also pointed out magical ink that Forsythe read to be values listed next to each name.

Inside the main hall, they discovered a thriving tavern for the crews of the docked ships. Fix focused and found Andrew, the only member of the Jagged Dream present in the city. Andrew shared he was a crewman of the Blue Shark and later shared information on the ships and their captains with Fix:

Cpt. Gallows:Sparrow (fast)
Cpt. Stills:Seafoam (standard ship)
Cpt. Waters:Blue Shark (underwater)
Cpt. Scales:Wavebreaker (strong)
Cpt. Pinch:The Feather (stealth).

The group also learned that The Feather and her crew ran into trouble on their last journey. They seemed to have encountered the giant sea beast that guards Salachia, a prison in the middle of one of the twin lakes. The group decides they must continue to the Twisted Spire and look into this further at a later time. They take an evening’s rest at the Blue Dolphin and head out of the city the next morning.

Episode 99

]]><![CDATA[Awake]]>Tue, 18 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/theyre-addictedAt the Citadel of the Iron Saint Fix, with the aid of Evangeline, repairs the orrery and as he watches through the narrow entry he sees the web of energy begin to spread. Evangeline takes a moment to investigate the room and finds a panel where behind are three books.:

A log book of maintenance - last entry was in the third age by Curros
A book of schematics of origins and alterations to all the orreries.
A book of contracts initiated by Shaji with each of the cities with orreries

Evangeline makes a notation in the maintenance log of the repairs made to the orrery and returns it behind the panel then secures the panel back in place.

The group makes their way out of the orrery camber and across to the Ancestors just in time to find Retton Balen (aka Leoros) arriving. Evangeline talks with Retton who shares with her that he has always felt like part of him was missing. That fact led him to Hidden Naresh where he ran into trouble and then to the Order of Truth who aided in his recovery. Upon his joining he tells her he feels complete.

The party discovers upon talking with the Ancestors and their hosts:

The Ancestors have been in the world since at least the second age and things would have been worse during the catastrophe if they had not been in the world
They are from Vilkaris to see if this world is acceptable for them to relocate in order to escape the Dark Energy taking over their world.
They need a host to survive but do not wish to do so by force.
Gos, Kri, Ana, Lad, and Ros are their names and they and their hosts are independent from one another though reliant on the host for survival..
They have been watching the world but do not influence the world unless it is needed.
The Ancestors could not see the party except from a distance, leading them to believe that they were protected by something.
The Ancestors state that they are not gods, but acknowledge that there were others who were powerful that became known as gods that were not of their kind.

Fix and Evangeline spend much time in debate about the intent of the Ancestors after Evangeline views Kri entering an infant at birth. Kri and Zavarina, his host, confirm that Kri has bonded with the family and they have been his host for multiple generations. After much discussion the decision was made and agreed upon by all that the Ancestors would remain watching and let the party know if any other of their kind entered.

The party headed to Qi to find a solution to getting to The Twisted Spire for the next orrery to be restarted.

Episode 98

]]><![CDATA[sleepers]]>Tue, 11 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/sleepersIn Nihliesh, Evangeline picks up more ink from Gallago. He offers to pay for their evening at the Platinum Spoon in hopes to reconcile with Evangeline for manipulating her to speak with his daughter on their previous visit. Before bed, they all do their nightly routines. As they begin to lay down for sleep, a song begins to play. Through some investigation, they realize the sound is omnipresent.

Forsythe takes to the air and discovers it only reaches so far. He then begins to look around for possible sources and finds an invisible stone. He takes the stone to Kadath that sees additional enchantment magic. Believing this to be a source, they wake Evangeline and travel to what appears to be the governmental building.

A guard answers the door and informs them their leader is currently sleeping and he has no intention of waking her. After some convincing, the group is allowed in where they question the guard. He discloses that the song was enacted by Mada-liviss to ease tensions and fighting. The guard concedes to let her know of a breakfast appointment with the group and sends them off. Most of the group wait for the song to end at midnight before returning to bed.

In the morning, the group met with Mada-liviss to learn the song was enacted also to stop any night time ritual that may be performed by the Fahat. To aid in Fix’s understanding, she shares her peace talk schedule with the religious group and through some compromise, agrees to have this matter resolved in three weeks time and to cease using the stones. As they leave, they talk with several townsfolk to discover many of them are okay with it as a temporary law and have discovered benefits to this sleep.

The group then travels to the Citadel of the Iron Saint and discovers four people sitting around a sphere of energy meditating. Forsythe makes contact with them through telepathy and they agree to meet him at their home. Once they arrive, they are surprised to see others waiting there as well.

Through several questions, the group learns the four are part of what they call the Soul Court and they are looking for a fifth to join them. Their ancestors built the home in the fourth age and they have been watching people ever since. Those they watch are chosen depending on their lives, interests, influence and influencers. When asked about the group, they share that they were seen at a distance and were protected.

As Evangeline writes in her book about these watchers, the youngest, Zavakri, watches and is able to read the book. At times, Zavakri seems to communicate with the others telepathically about what she sees. Further questions reveal they are hosts to their ancestral spirits or souls. Some accept this willingly, one was born with the ancestor being passed from their mother.

When asked about the orrery, they teleport them back to the stone they were meditating on. The group discovers the hole beneath the sphere and with the aid of magic, get themselves into the large room holding the orrery of this ancient city.

Episode 97

]]><![CDATA[warnings]]>Tue, 04 Feb 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/warningsThe group begin to head back to Thriest and witness what looked like something tearing through the land. Through Forsythe’s flight, they realize the extent of this new “scar” being over 100 miles long and at least 15 miles at its widest point. We they arrive in Thriest, at the temple, Tatra meets them at the stairs saying:

Across the land devastation spreads
Second to be the city of four heads
Shield the land by orreries old
Activate one new into the fold

Tatra then hands Kadath a star sapphire. Tatra leaves as the group discusses the possible implications of the new riddle. Many ideas come up about the identification of the city of four heads with no definite conclusion. As they begin to realize the city is in commotion, they find out the river was disrupted and there is damage to the city.

Forsythe quickly jumps in to attempt to create a spillway for the river, now flowing in the wrong direction. Kadath and Fix are sent to Ephremon to collect Zybella and ten druids she was able to gather on short notice. Evangeline heads to the Amber Pope to discover that he and Meus were already getting the merchant ships and the fleet of the City of Bridges underway to aid in however was needed for those traveling the river.

By the time evening arrives there is a good start at mitigating much of the damage that could affect the economy of Thriest. Kadath heads to the pool of blood and enters to commune with the Raven Queen. She confirms that the cities without shields could be in danger of Velsharoon’s new approach to the material plane. She also shared that all the gods contributed to the cards, but it was Ao that determined what would be revealed and many of the gods do not agree with this course of action. She warns that the group may be called to a reckoning.

Evangeline also communes to receive direction. She lays out all the cards as well as her book and crystal ball opening up her commune to any of the gods willing to share. When she asks about their presence, all the cards give a brief flash. Evangeline sees within the orb the shields that cover the Steadfast and the Beyond, toward the center is Rarmon. The cards flip over except for the Library and he shows her that the order does not matter but that they all need to be activated.

During the night, Fix has a dream of being pulled above the land by Gond. He can see the network of the shields that create a circle around most of the Steadfast and the Beyond. Watching, the center begins to fill from Rarmon, and Shaji joins. Filled with a sense of pride, he hears Gond whisper, “My greatest work.”

In the morning, the group heads to Rarmon knowing the orrery there can shield the city. When they arrive, Garrot leads them to the lower level under the orrery where they find an unpowered machine that could be designed to be part of the network of shields for the land. They place the sapphire into the machine and it begins to emit energy. When they go outside, they can see the iridescent network above the city and that it seems to stretch further south toward the Foundation Stones.

As they prepare to leave Thriest, they also begin to notice the shield stretching toward the north as well. Philethis contacts Fix to let him know that his task is complete and he is going home. The group travels as clouds to the city of Nihliesh.

Episode 96

]]><![CDATA[eruption]]>Tue, 28 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/eruptionThe group finally made it back to Thriest and while there, Evangeline takes time to attune to the spine they pulled off Gaera, Kadath checks in with his order, and Forsythe meets up with Kosha. As the night continues, Merril let Kadath know that there was a man who had come back from the cabins and dropped into a catatonic state. He had planned on gathering a group to go check it out, but since the party was in town asked Kadath if they would look into it.

Fix stays the night with Zybella in Ephremon. Early in the morning, Zybella was called to the council chambers. After a failed attempt to keep Fix in her room, she invites him to come along. They meet a follower of Savarus who passes information about her vision. She saw an eruption of the land in the Steadfast, but was unsure of the exact location.

When the group reunited in Thriest, they visited the catatonic man. While Forsythe uses his telepathic abilities to pull him out of the perpetual state of fear, Evangeline consults her crystal ball to see what happened. She saw some fiery creatures that she later looks up in her book to discover they are devils from the Nine Hells.

The group travels to the cabins to inspect the area and see what has happened. Kadath collects the glowing embers from each of the cabins and realizes they do not emit any heat. He dumps them into the river. This triggers some fiery creatures and the group quickly dispatches them.

Episode 95 Part 1

Episode 95 Part 2

]]><![CDATA[ill omens]]>Tue, 21 Jan 2025 07:00:00 GMThttp://dndadjokes.com/town-crier/ill-omensThough the group was offered accommodations for the evening at the Sanctuary of the Eye, they decided to head back to Qi instead. However, Trever does provide a copy of the training manual for the drake riders to Fix with the understanding that it stays within his family. While waiting, one of Trever’s men, Cameron, does disclose that the drakes do not speak to them but rarely a black drake is born that seems to be more closely related to the dragons of old and can communicate.

Once home, they have dinner and disperse for the evening. Evangeline records what has happened and checks on her nanites. She eventually decides to draw with her ink and reveals an old cabin. Looking closely, a rocking chair begins to move, but nothing else seems to come to life. Kadath goes to visit Cedric at the Order of Balance and shares what they have done. A startled page invites Kadath to weapons class.

Fix goes into the office to begin organizing and connects with Zybella. After some time, the sound of broken glass draws Fix’s attention and he finds that the servants broke his mother’s full mirror when she was startled by something at the window. When Fix investigates, he notices Funae crossing the gardens coming to the house. He alerts the others and meets her in the foyer.

Funae shares that she has visited other timelines where she has met various versions of Fix and the others. When looking for herself, she did not find any other versions and only stumbled upon Gaera in one. As Funae begins to share that she doesn’t think she belongs even in this timeline, Evangeline shares what she remembers of the vision of Gaera taking the infant to the shadowfell. When asked about how Gaera had lived so long, Funae shares about the paintings of future and past events. She had never passed through the pictures, but Gaera did frequently. Fix shows her the two paintings he has and she recognizes Lord and Lady Bhaka.

The group also learns a bit more about Philethis and how his services were won by Rodendis, leader of the Jagged Dream, in a game of chance against Gaera. Philethis was then bound to serve the leader of this organization until such a time that Laira has greater needed of him again. She also shares a bit of history, and that she knows Philethis now serves Fix. An offer is extended to Funae to join and she accepts.

Evangeline decides to commune with Denier and confirms that Funae did die in the destruction of the castle, but then it got changed to something more unclear. She also learned that Funae is in a better position to be trusted now. She also shares with Funae that she saw her pages as blank and untainted. Evangeline then speaks with Savrus to see if the other timelines would have any influence with each other and receives from him that it is possible.

The picture of the cabin is shared with the rest of the group once they are alone. Kadath recognizes the cabin as strongly resembling the one Erwin had taken him to when he was younger. It had been a place of peace away from the city. Studying the picture, they recognize a clock that is stopped at the 1:00 hour and an overturned salt bowl. Evangeline uses the orb to confirm Kadath’s past in relation to the cabin. Kadath, Forsythe, and Evangeline teleport to Thriest for the evening, while Fix teleports to Ephremon and plans to meet up with them in the morning.

Episode 94

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