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A gaming group is like a little family. There are multiple factors why you keep coming back to the table week after week (or game after game). You enjoy time together and have fun sharing these experiences and stories. However, like family, you also have your differences and disagreements. If someone leaves, do not take that personally as there are multiple reasons why one would walk away.
Not the right fit. Everyone has a style of play they really enjoy. A player may be looking for something combat heavy, but most of the group are doing more character development, roleplaying social encounters (and even the occasional shopping episode). They become bored with this gaming style quickly, and if it happens often enough they will walk away. The opposite can also be true for someone into roleplaying sitting at a table that is combat heavy. This is okay! Encourage them to find a group that fits what they are looking for and to keep gaming. Too much water. Sometimes the player has had enough conflicting moments between other players that they are now experiencing tension between them. If they are experiencing issues with the other players (or they are the “problem player”), it may not be an issue with another group of people, but at this table it is. Trust me when I say some people know when they are the problem. Sometimes they will discuss this with you, other times they will just stop showing up. This is okay! Again, encourage them to find another group to play with. Don’t like the system. *Gasp* Yes, people stop showing up for games because of the system or genre. Players who are into epic fantasy stories are not going to enjoy running space traveling merchants. They will often graciously duck out of the games until you circle around to a system or genre they like, then rejoin. This is okay! Remember to call them up when you start something you think they’ll enjoy and invite them back. Players come and go, it’s usually nothing personal. If there are issues that you can discuss and come to a resolution on, then it is worth having that conversation. Will it bring that player back? Maybe not, but be okay with their decision. Do not try to convince a player to return if issues are not resolved as that will only cause more. There are many great players that would not be a good fit for my table. I am okay with that, and they are too.
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When you have little to no time to plan a session, sometimes you have to use whatever is available to you. For short notice one-shots, this is what I have done. Thanks to the many conventions and extra sessions I’ve been asked to run, I have things I can pull from at the ready. If one of my players cannot make it, that is exactly what I do.
I’ve recently come across some great resources to pull from. In my digging I have found RuneFoundry and Loke provide some great scenarios and maps to go with them. I struggle with both on the fly and these two provide both, and at a reasonable cost (some even free). I am sure those are not the only ones, but I find both of these give just enough. The scenarios provided give good foundations to pull from without causing a complete trainwreck if the players go off track. They also give just enough options that the players will not feel pushed to do something in particular. I like to take these ideas and mold them to how I know they like to play and anticipate a bit of shenanigans. You can always adjust anything you have to work for you. Make it yours. Switch out the monsters, change the setting, even the genre can be flipped to some degree. If you struggle to come up with sessions, go look up a few for yourself and let me know if you have a “go-to” for last minute planning. New Year resolutions are often made with good intentions, but quickly fall to the wayside a few weeks in. This is why I don’t make one, I know it’ll be forgotten just as quickly as I commit to it. However, I still have goals, ones that have an end date in mind while others are pretty infinite. One such goal is to learn and run games in other systems.
As this campaign is coming to a close, we have discussed what we would like to do next. There was some tossing about of various systems and even possibly staying with D&D. I made mention of some systems I do not particularly care for (too number-crunchy for me), but in the process, mentioned one that I was thinking about reading through anyway. Of course my players jumped on THAT one. So now I find myself reading, and re-reading the core book as well as a few supplemental resources. I have only actually played in this system for two campaigns, and although they were longer campaigns, I still didn’t have a real grasp on the world as I lived in the small world of my character, not looking at the bigger picture. I also did not truly understand the mechanics. I had cheat sheets that I followed for any rolls from the first time I played until the last session nearly 2 years later. As big of a project as running a game in a system I am only vaguely familiar with is, I’m excited to try something new. I do hope others who are interested in trying this are encouraged by my attempts at it, successful or not. Be with me on my failures, but also join me to celebrate when I can quote Hannibal saying, “I love it when a plan comes together.” I have recently come across some posts about metagaming. Definitions vary in some details, but the general idea is that this is when a player uses his/her real knowledge instead of the character’s. In this broad sense, anything the player knows (including mechanics to an extent) could be considered as metagaming. I personally think this is hogwash as my family would say.
If you are a die hard “no metagaming at the table” type of person, I will not be playing with you in any long-term capacity. As a GM, I often give descriptions of people, places, and things with modern day likeness. This allows my players to understand what I am picturing the easiest and keeps from consuming too much time on narrative. However, in that broad definition, I’ve just told my players to metagame. They may change their decisions or actions based on that likeness. I am also okay with cross-table chatter. If someone finds their character alone and is stuck on ideas on how to proceed, I’d rather my other players give them ideas instead of spending the next thirty minutes waiting for them to come up with it on their own. Some would say I should guide them to a decision, but that can be counterproductive and leave the player feeling defeated. However, if it comes from the players it is seen as helping each other and they have now overcome that obstacle together. Some would go so far as to not allow the players to share their actions during battle. This prevents the coordination of an active adventuring party that travels together and most likely knows what each other may be doing. Table chatter on what you plan to do next, or aiding each others’ efforts is the best way to display these tactics. Each time they do this, they learn more about each other, their play styles, and their preferred battle strategies. They will hone in wonderful combinations that make the game truly epic. Now, let’s talk elephants! Player knowledge of monsters the adventuring party encounters is the worst type of metagaming. It can drain the fun so badly that I actually put this type into more of a “cheating” category. If your character has never encountered a siren, and has spent no time on the docks or on a ship, they will not know about their song-like enticement. However, if they encounter a red dragon that emits heat and breathes fire, it is logical that the characters may think it is immune to fire. All of this comes, of course, with a grain of salt. Your players need to give room for each other to have those “private” conversations, take the moment to think through a situation, and share only what they want. The rest of the group need to respect that their party member is keeping something secret from the rest of them with a purpose, and allow it to come to the surface organically. The group should never assume everything is shared all the time (unless stated otherwise), and if anyone is not sure, it’s okay to ask, “Did you share that?” We all fall off the horse eventually, it’s what we do after we hit the ground that matters. Struggling to keep up with life, the universe, and everything, I cling to the answer…42, unfortunately that is only half the problem. What’s the question?!
As I realize I was late (again) for posting a GM Corner, I am also dropping the ball on other things as well. I have hyper focused on cleaning the house, and as a result other things slip by me. Before I know it, the new year will have come and gone and I’ll still be sitting at my desk thinking about Christmas gifts. It also shows in my games. I’m less prepared, meaning no maps, easy monsters, very predictable story plots, and late posts. This does not mean it will be less fun, but it will not have the air of excitement that we all love. The “tool box” comes in very handy in these instances. All those plots, NPCs, locations, etc. that the players have skipped over, can now be pulled out with little preparation (since I did it already). If you find yourself on the ground. Whether it be too much going on in your life, or just in your head, remember you are not alone. We have all fallen off at some point or another. Just pick yourself up, dust off, and get back on! Everyone starts somewhere, you are not alone. I know it can feel like a huge task to run your first game, but know that your game table is full of people who will help you. As a GM, it is easy to feel like you need to have all the answers to all the questions that could get asked, but that is an unrealistic expectation. So let me break some of this down for you.
Have you played in the system you are planning to run? If you have, then you will have a general idea of how the game should flow, and some basic rules already. If not, don’t worry, you will figure it out. I would suggest reading about combat and anything about the general concept of the world or genre the system is set in. Have you got a concept or scenario to run? If you already have a general idea of the story to explore, great! Think about the points of interest and how those will work in the system you are running. If not, that is okay too! There are plenty of prewritten scenarios that can be found in the local game store or online, just find one you are interested in. Is someone in your group more familiar with the system? If so, then ask them to help out with rules, and guidance when a situation arises that is not explicitly addressed in those rules. It is okay if none of you are familiar with the system though. You’ll all be learning together, so have patience with one another. I find myself in this situation often. Some systems I am quite familiar with, others not so much. I run them anyway because I have a gaming group that likes a lot of different things (and I want to expand my own knowledge and experience). There are a lot of YouTube videos of tutorials and actual play in a lot of different systems. If you still struggle, or don’t like surfing the web, just ask the local game store. There is a lot more going on at that store than just selling gaming merchandise. Bottom line: don’t give up! You do not have to memorize everything or even read it all before starting your first game. Things that come up during the session that you didn’t understand, you can look up and read about before the next game. Go with what you know and have fun! This time last year, I wrote about gaming through the holidays. I was lucky enough to grow up in a heavily gaming family (granted, it was mostly euchre), so when roleplaying was introduced, we were all up to give it a try. It stuck! On holidays, we gathered around the dining room table with various snacks and played for hours. The same does not hold true today, unfortunately. Others have been added to the family while some have moved away (me), but we can still be found gathered around a game of euchre.
With everyone visiting family and scheduling their own holiday events, it becomes difficult to keep the weekly sessions on track. It’s okay! My roleplaying groups tend to take breaks around the holidays. Even if the group doesn’t want to stop, do other things if you are missing people. Play some card or board games, try a one-shot in a different system, or have fun pulling off shenanigans in an expected TPK scenario. Regardless of the decision your group makes, encourage one another to return to the table after the holiday events come to an end. Each of your players will be able to relax and enjoy the time away knowing the fun will continue when they return. As they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” right? So I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Happy Holidays! “There’s no place like home” is what Dorthy said when she wanted to go back to Kansas, and she is right! Trying to work without your usual set-up is a struggle. I miss my desk, stool, two wide-screen monitors, and the ever present three drinks at the ready. But alas, we must sometimes leave that wonderful cockpit we built for ourselves and take work on-the-go. So how do you handle this change?
First of all, give yourself grace, you will not have all the answers at your fingertips. I am missing notes, books, and anything on my desktop computer. There is only so much available on the internet that I can look up, and my personalized notes are not there. I can type it all into a document, but that is a lot (quite frankly, I prefer my hand written notes). Then, assess your new environment and create a suitable substitute. Find a desk, chair, and anything else needed to create a temporary cockpit. Think about what is vital and build from there. If the stay is extended and you are used to multiple monitors, consider taking one from home, or get a smaller one for travel. For my day job, I need a second monitor, now I have one for travel. Also, consider video calls or meetings. Since I stream, I must have a neutral background, so placement is very important to me. Above all, make it work for you! No, it will not be like home, but you can set up an environment that works temporarily. Do not be afraid to change anything that is not working and/or try something new. You might just find something that you can take back home to improve your own cockpit. We have all been there, sitting in a classroom learning a new choir song, instrument, or dance. It is a shared experience with the entire class, or even with all your peers, but did you know this experience actually aided you across other areas of school and life? When you are involved in a performing art, you build confidence, self-awareness and expression, empathy, and even cultural awareness. What would you think if I told you that these same things can be explored within a roleplaying game? But it’s not a performing art…right?
I know that no one sits down to a roleplaying game to watch the GM perform, they come to participate. There are many conversations about the performing arts and how they aid in development (especially the youth). I say that roleplaying games can provide very similar experiences on a smaller scale in a more intimate setting. Playing with a group of friends, pretending to be make-believe characters, is a perfect environment to explore and develop many of these areas. This is a safe place to try new approaches to social interactions or solutions to strange circumstances. Here is where you can discover your own likes/dislikes and learn to work around disagreements. When faced with challenges in the game, you have to work with your fellow players to investigate a solution. Every time you do this, the next encounter becomes easier. The first character you play, it is easy to dismiss any actions or reactions as “that’s just my character,” but every character you play has a little piece of you in it. As you play several characters, you will notice the similarities between them. Eventually, you realize that is part of you. Self-discovery is the best way to build self-esteem and confidence. You begin to see your own strengths and weaknesses and how others aid you (not just your character). As you explore the world, you come across different cultures and the viewpoints and religions of other people (even those held by your fellow players). Navigating these experiences teaches social skills that follow you throughout your life. You learn how to interact with others to come to peaceful understanding, and what may happen if you cannot compromise. Sure, these things can be taken to extremes in a roleplaying game, but it is the same basic concept. It is scary to share your passion. I am quite secure in what I like and how I make it happen, but there are those who disagree. For every person I share this with, there is a new opinion. Some like everything, some like nothing, but mostly it is somewhere in between.
The first conventions that I ran games at I was nervous. I don’t run games for strangers (well, at least I didn’t used to), I’ve always just played with family, and a few scattered friends. I find it easier to fail in front of family, they are more forgiving usually. In front of strangers, I fumble over rules, concepts, and if I am taken off guard by something it takes me a moment to recover. I do not let my deep seated fear of disappointment stop me from trying though. In fact, I think this is my biggest accomplishment! Sure, I want the game to go well, and that is my ultimate goal, but when I look back I see myself overcoming fears. Stepping out and presenting what I find exciting and allowing the risk of someone else not liking it is confidence building. Let me give you a piece of advice…you’ll never be ready. There are still monsters to build, characters to tweak, and maps to put together, but if you move forward anyway, it will work out in the end. Each time you get a bit more comfortable and confident. just take that leap of faith and trust that everyone is there to have a good time. |
AuthorJodie 
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October 2025
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