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I’m diving into new territory. Interparty romance. Two players want a bit more from their characters and they will do so off screen. I made this decision due to multiple factors, and player comfortability is one of them. I want the other players to still be comfortable at the table, and I want these two players to feel free to go as they see fit.
This does not work for everyone! Before anything can happen, trust must be built first, and you must know your players well. It can create tension between players if they don’t trust you or each other, especially if the characters will become intimate. It is very important to have the players talk it out together to determine any sensitive topics or actions to avoid, and when the curtain needs to be drawn. Some of the discoveries and the aftermath will be talked about on screen, when these two meet up with the rest of the group. I leave it mostly to them as to what will be discussed. Not all GMs are as lucky as I am, I have a table of gamemasters that can determine when and how much information is disclosed to the group. When I set up these “encounters,” I still give them a plot hook and often a plot twist. These moments give them something to share with the rest of the group that keeps them in “the know.” Bringing it back on screen can present its own challenges though. I am not going to lie, I am nervous about sharing what takes place privately between these two characters. Constantly trying to watch for actions or descriptions that could be triggering to viewers is tough. So, as I navigate this new experience, I’ll try to share what I’ve learned. If you have done anything like this, please share your experiences.
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Dice are often used for determining outcomes of various decisions. In our games, it allows for characters to succeed or fail in skills, especially when the player is not particularly skilled in that area (Persuasion) or it is just not possible to do this at the table (Acrobatics). However, these checks can become distracting to the game if called for too often.
If every move a character makes requires a die roll, it will become daunting to do anything. This will slow down the game and often discourage players from trying different things. Also, if the actions should be natural for the character, leave those dice on the table. Logically, if he fails the roll, it becomes even more frustrating for the player. Calling for checks among the group can also cause some issues. When one member of the party begins to sneak around, the others should have a general idea where they may be (especially if they have traveled together for a while). If one character thinks another may be hiding a secret, no insight should be rolled, just give them time to have a conversation. If you call for those rolls, and they fail, the player now has to pretend they do not have the knowledge that they derived through roleplaying. For example, Angelica acts weird in a situation and draws the attention of Brigham. He asks Angelica if there is anything wrong. When Angelica says “no,” the DM calls for Brigham to roll insight. He gets a 6. Now, the player for Brigham has to play as though he is ignorant of what the player naturally feels about the situation. The issue will be dropped and he will assume how she acted was natural. In reality, the player for Angelica may have wanted to explore a little of her backstory and have a good character interaction with Brigham. Personally, if a player is skeptical of actions or information from another player, or even an NPC, I let them run with it. If they ask me to roll, I’ll have them do so and either confirm what they are thinking, or put them at ease. I don’t tell them to roll for things like that unless they are completely missing the clue. I have heard other GMs disclose their rule when calling for rolls, and I like it. If there is a chance for failure, then ask them to roll. Do not take this too far though, because that chance is always there, but keep it logical. Also, if there is no chance for success you do not need a roll either (you cannot jump to the moon). Most importantly, do not let dice rolling bog down the flow of the story. Every group starts somewhere. From someone gathering friends to try a “new” type of game to complete strangers meeting in a local game store (or online) because they are looking for new friends to play with, each table top is surrounded by people who chose to be there. What happens in those early steps?
Showing up at a store (or online) and sitting down at a table is the easy part for those who are looking for a group. After sitting down, it becomes a bit more difficult. You begin to interact with these strangers and decide if this is the table for you. I’ll be honest, some you’ll like immediately, others…not so much. Don’t take it personally, it is different for everybody. Gathering friends to start playing seems the more tiresome task when starting a home game. Getting commitment from others can feel like beating your head against a wall at times, but don’t give up. Eventually you’ll nail down a date and time for all to sit at your table. Run the game, get feedback (especially from the ones that tried it for the first time), and set the next date. Honestly, getting a regular time to meet is the best option. This allows for the players to plan in advance and keep their schedule clear if possible. Things will come up and they will have to miss a session here or there, but if it becomes consistent, you may want to give them a call. Whether you play with strangers that are yet to become friends, or a group of friends at home, don’t give up after just one session. It takes a little while to get to know each other and become comfortable in roleplaying. Each time you try, you will learn more about yourself and be able to pick the right game for you. Everybody loves a mysterious letter, a locked box, or a map at the table. The players become even more engaged when there are objects to interact with. All of this material takes time to prepare though. With a little creativity and time to put it together, your players will love it. When you play online, we are not able to pass around the map or read that letter, so how do you provide some engagement with objects? Well, you don’t…not really.
Sitting around a table with your players comes with a lot of benefits. In person roleplay not only allows for better communication, but also provides a shared experience when a material is given to the group. Watching the excitement spread across the table is a simple joy for myself, the GM, that just does not replicate online. So we have to compromise. The number one tool can be done through online programs. Maps are good for spatial awareness and strategies for the players and there are several ways to display this to your players (I’m not listing them here, I trust you can find those). Other things can be mailed or emailed to your players if you want them to receive something privately, or email the whole group for a grand reveal. In one game, my players had frequent dreams that I would text to each of them, individually, and allow them to share with the group when they wanted to. What I’m doing in my current campaign are newsletters. I have started creating articles with generic pictures about things that are happening in the world around them periodically. Some of these articles include the events that the players were involved with or affected. My players seem to be enjoying these as they do bring them up in game and in text discussions outside of the game. I will not commit myself to giving them one every week, or even every other week, but I am trying to send them out during major in-game downtimes. If you are at the table, consider what kind of materials you could give your players to aid in their engagement with the story and the world they are exploring. Get creative. No matter how silly it may seem, your players will recognize the effort you put into it and appreciate it. Don’t let being online stop you either. If your group meets online, or even play by post, you can still do this through email, text messages, or even snail mail. Be creative, think outside the box, and ask for advice from others to come up with engaging material you can give your players. Most D&D campaigns stop before any characters reach this level in D&D. Some stop because of outside forces such as scheduling conflicts or interest, but others are cut short by the GM because high levels are overpowered. This creates issues in arranging combats and even encounters with NPCs.
The people of the world know these characters. If they have reached level 20, they are world renowned at what they do, nearly celebrities (some have even saved the world from complete destruction). These NPCs will have some shock and awe when they walk through their town, provide free lodging and meals, ask for blessings on their children, and possibly hold celebrations. This can slow down any session if you take it too extreme. I skip all of that. Typically, when I let players use a level 20 character it will be for a one-shot. This means we have no time for antics, we go straight to the issue. Mainly, I have to be prepared for combat. Planning monsters and their environments can be overwhelming. I cannot rely solely on challenge ratings or formulas provided to do this. I have to take a look at the characters, know how many times and how hard they can hit, what kind of spells are going to be cast, special abilities that could insta-kill my bad guy, etc. Look through what monsters are available to me and possibly adjust them for the inevitable fight. Unfortunately, I am a forgetful person. Once things are in motion, I tend to lose track of the lair actions, legendary actions and resistances, on-going battle effects and more. This does make it easier for my players to take out my monsters, but as long as they are still having fun it’s worth it to me. (Holding up a glass) Here’s to another high level one shot in the books (clink)! One of these days, I’ll remember all the stuff…or not. I avoid this topic if possible. I do not like to make an entire world with lore and history for my players to learn (I’m just not that into it). However, I do create worlds with my players through their backstories and current adventures. I essentially lay down the tracks as my players drive the story.
Like all GMs, I will start with a town, a few NPCs, and a plot hook. The players take it from there. They interact with people and places to discover things. I will often throw in items of intrigue, or a random mysterious person for them to think about. In a good session, the players will be discussing what it all means openly (and I will use it later) to drive the world forward. Sometimes I come to the table with a campaign setting. These provide me with maps, cities, people, and even some lore or history to build from. However, I am forever a homebrewer that lets the players push the story and will find myself not quite in line with the prewritten world. I do find I will often use maps and names within my story, but only loosely base them on what was designed for this setting (you know, the one that my story was supposed to be in). Then there are worlds like what my group is running in now. The history is extensive, the major players and governmental structures are in place, rules and expectations are set. I find myself trying to put together game nights in fear of upsetting what has already been established. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my players are there to have fun being someone else for a time. They want to build their own story within the world, and that means breaking the lore at times. Like I’ve said before (and I’ll keep reminding everyone), as long as we are having fun…I don’t care if I am following the pre-written campaign setting. Throw the book out the window if it begins to bog things down, or makes it too rigid for character development. I will bend, or even break, the rules to allow my players epic moments. My advice to all GMs is to put players first, everything else will fall into place for a good session. Walking out the door to head to a convention, a lot of things cross my mind. Do I have everything I need? Do I have my badge or ticket? Did I write down the right times? And so much more. Things get jumbled very quickly. Let me tell you what I do.
It starts with the application. When I submit to be a game master at a convention, I already know what one-shots I’m planning on running. I look through all that I have and see what I may want to try. Sometimes I pull something that was published, other times I do a homebrew adventure. The one I tend to choose is often experimental (I like to get some information and see how differently each time turns out). Once I’m accepted I begin to really pull out the one-shot and read it thoroughly. I use these read throughs to determine where my players may go “off the rails.” Planning for some of the unexpected helps with improv at the table. This also gives other directions that may need extra physical things. Now it is time to gather the pre-generated characters I will offer the players, and gather the monster stats, maps, miniatures, handouts, etc. that I will need for this scenario. I have tubs that hold these things and more. Because I GM for our YouTube channel, I also gather flyers, stickers, badge ribbons, and signage for our channel. Before I feel completely prepared, I have to head out the door. When I arrive at the convention, I like to see where I’ll be gaming and if I’ll be sharing the table. If our games are super close in time, I want to prep my wagon to pull everything out quickly. When it is possible, I like to sit at the table and interact with others that might walk by and answer questions. Conventions are draining, not only in time, but in energy too. Although I get super excited to share my passion with others and provide an excellent adventure for them to enjoy, I am happy to go home at the end of the day. Then, I do it all again a month or two later. This has become a very popular plumb line for judging mastery. Studies showed 10,000 hours was the average practice time to reach this level in musicianship and it seems to have been applied to multiple skills since. I look at this and think, how long have I been in the GM seat?
Adding up my weekly gaming for the past 8 years I fall short…by a lot! Including conventions, and other pick-up games, my time has only reached around 1400 hours (at this rate, I’ll reach mastery when I’m 80). When I say that I am no expert, it’s true, but I am by no means cutting my teeth on the game master’s guides. I am in a position, when someone asks for my advice or opinion on running a game, I can share with confidence. Let me tell you, it feels good to be asked. This means others see that I have experience enough to have an intelligent opinion. They want to know how I handle social encounters, combat, player antics, homebrewing, and even tips for adjusting a pre-written campaign. Most importantly, I do not expect others to do what I do. Everyone has their own play style and that spills into how they run a game too. I only offer what I do in hopes that it inspires ideas for their own games. When we sit down at a table (or online) to roleplay, there are many things that you would not expect to come up. There is an unwritten social contract that everyone expects to be adhered to, but no one really wants to address. Quite frankly, they shouldn’t have to address it. Most of it is common sense and anything that doesn’t seem that way should be cued in body language. Let’s talk about it.
Anything sexual! Interparty and NPC romances, or intimate relations can be fun to play, but there is a point where a “black curtain” must fall. This is not just because it’ll quickly become X rated, but it also becomes awkward among all players. Non-consensual actions are a HARD PASS! We are GMs, we should be giving our players agency at every turn and this includes relationships. However, if it becomes unwanted, we must step in. If a player becomes uncomfortable with the advances of another, talk to those involved. If it doesn’t stop, ask the pushy player to leave, even if it is the GM. Bullying! Using real or perceived power over another is not just rude, but can be considered bullying. This will quickly result in a complete civil war around the table and players WILL take it personally. As GMs, this is a fine balance which can be mitigated with player agency. Allowing the characters to retreat and/or retaliate can keep it from being overwhelming (afterall, isn’t this most of the battles…to take out an oppressor?). However, if this becomes a problem at the table, take that player aside and discuss it directly and immediately. If the action continues, ask that player to leave, even if it is the GM. Not listening to the players. This one I’m talking to the GMs. If one of the players brings up a problem, you must address it. Do not pass the responsibility to someone else. Apologize if necessary for not catching the issue yourself, then DO SOMETHING! Allowing it to go on, there will be tension in the group and it will take away some of the trust that had been built between all the players. Talk to the player creating the problem, if it continues, ask that player to leave. Some of these things can be avoided simply by watching the body language of your players. A lot can be seen when they are uncomfortable or disagree with what might be happening. Some signs to watch out for: checking out, not making eye contact, nervous giggling, shocked expressions, shaking heads, leaving the table for a break, and that’s just a start. There are body language experts who have written books or speak about this on YouTube. Do some research if you are not sure about what to look for. I will leave you with a final thought. Asking someone to leave your table is not easy, but it is better for everyone involved. It keeps the other players feeling safe and supported. It shows that you are not going to accept this kind of behavior. Once these bitter, guilty, and uneasy feelings subside, your group will be stronger than ever. I am currently working on a mini-campaign with another GM. This will be broken down into four one-shots that could be played consecutively to make a full campaign. We are going to premiere this at a convention next year. Fingers crossed that we pull it off and it is received warmly.
Ideally, you do not want to offer up a session as a one-shot that requires any significant background knowledge. This proves to be an obstacle that we are working on overcoming. We want anyone to be able to sit at the table during any one of the sessions and still receive a full, enjoyable experience. What brought this on? Well, at one of the conventions that we provided game play at, we had several people who wanted more. We were pulling out older one-shots and scheduling times outside of the convention to provide this opportunity for them. This mini-campaign was created with these guests in mind. We want to provide a full adventure with several sessions in which they could take one character on a journey. I’m sure we’ll have hiccups, things may feel disjointed, others will drop in and out. This is our first attempt and we will learn from it to make the next time better. We hope that the guests also enjoy this and keep joining us at the table to experience the full adventure. |
AuthorJodie 
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October 2025
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