i'm no professional

Most GMs do not believe they are professional, unless they get paid to do this. Knowledge of the game is also a way to be considered ‘professional.’ However, GMs do a lot of people handling too. Working with hurt feelings, dealing with tension, being an encouragement, and more, often fall onto my plate. How do you handle all of this while still putting out an enjoyable game for all?

I have mediocre people skills. I’m kind, a decent listener, and try to be fair in all things, but I do not do well with conflict (personally I think this shows in my combats). I’ve had to work things out with my players on an individual basis, and sometimes that includes some harsh conversation. I have been used as a therapist and counselor for things in and out of games.

I want to be a friend to all my players, and for the most part, I succeed. BUT…I’m no professional. I’m not certified to be giving life coaching to my group, or even psychological advice. What I can do is provide a listening ear, and share my own life experience. Back home we call this “front porch therapy.” 

Imagine two old women rocking on the front porch sipping tea or knitting a blanket when a grandson flops down on the stairs. “What’s on your mind, Johnny?” one of them asks. Then it all comes out, Johnny’s been trying to get a girl’s attention by poking and teasing. Of course the two women cackle a bit before informing Johnny that isn’t quite the best way to get a girl’s attention. They talk a bit about love and crushes when they were young while Johnny listens intently for advice. Before long, he gets what he’s looking for and moves on, leaving them to their tea and knitting.

I’m like one of those women for my players, at least I hope so. I hope they take to heart what I say and weigh it for themselves. I do not want to be seen as if I know it all (in or out of game). If you notice things with your group, pull them aside or call and ask them what’s going on. Then provide that listening ear. If you need to, work through it together. You’ll form deeper bonds with players from being that support.